Back-to-school season brings lots of big feelings for kids and families. Childcare handoffs or goodbyes at school or the bus stop are often where those feelings bubble over. \u201cTransitions and separation can be so stressful for children,\u201d social worker Laura H. reminds us. Whether it\u2019s a battle that starts before you can even get shoes on at home, a slow buildup of tears during the commute to school, or a surprise meltdown at the last moment, drop-offs can be tough on many families. To prepare for back to school this year, check out these favorite goodbye rituals recommended by parents and teachers.<\/p>\n
Talk about it with a great book.<\/strong> Make your hug or kiss a special one.<\/strong> Leave them with a message.<\/strong> Let them push you out the door.<\/strong> Make it silly.<\/strong> Get busy right away. <\/strong> Keep it predictable.<\/strong> From sticky hugs to silly songs, these goodbye rituals can help set your child up for a successful day at school.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":10,"featured_media":98815,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[94,441,1362],"coauthors":[1053],"class_list":["post-98813","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-uncategorized","tag-growing-up","tag-back-to-school","tag-feelings-and-emotions","ages_stages-pre-k","ages_stages-growing-reader"],"yoast_head":"\n
\nCozy conversations over books, enjoyed at a time of day completely separate from an emotional parting, are one of the best ways to give kids language and strategies to cope with separation. For instance, Always With You, Always With Me<\/a><\/em> by Kelly Rowland and Jessica McKay and illustrated by Fanny Liem, follows a child and his mom through a week of goodbyes and reunions. When they have to be apart, they look for \u201cmagic traces\u201d of each other, which families could replicate in their own way. Or, meet some owlets who miss their mommy in Owl Babies<\/a><\/em>, by Martin Waddell and illustrated by Patrick Benson. The little owls \u2014 and little readers, too \u2014 find security in big sister Sarah\u2019s patient refrain, \u201cShe\u2019ll be back.\u201d (And what joy when she is!) For more great titles, check out 15 Comforting Books for Kids With Separation Anxiety<\/a>.<\/p>\n
\nA special routine just for you and your child can be so reassuring. Jenn C. remembers how her mom always left a lipstick kiss on her sister\u2019s hand. Now she gives her kids \u201cthree kisses on each cheek and then a \u2018sticky\u2019 hug (because it sticks all day long).\u201d Some kids like to choose; the year she was four, my daughter insisted on \u201cfour hugs and four kisses.\u201d Whatever it is, making your special goodbye the last thing you do before your exit gives kids a reassuring, loving landmark during the transition process.<\/p>\n
\nMany families land on a consistent message as part of their goodbyes. Parent Jenna P. says, \u201cI shout \u2018Be kind and be awesome!\u2019 to my kids as they exit the car, usually while rolling their eyes.\u201d Similarly, Tiffanie D. always reminds her kids to \u201cShine your light!\u201d Eliza M. calls out, \u201cBe a good learner and be a good friend!\u201d While the instructive content is a nice bonus, it\u2019s likely less about what you say and more about how hearing the same parting words every day becomes a comforting routine. I still fondly remember my own dad\u2019s reliable, \u201cSee ya later, Alligator!\u201d<\/p>\n
\nSocial worker Laura H. says her daughter used to \u201cLiterally push me out the front door at daycare. It allowed her to have some control over my leaving.\u201d Similarly, several young friends from my preschool teaching days always liked to dramatically \u201cshut the gate\u201d after their parents exited. These actions are often good for a few therapeutic giggles and help kids feel capable as they start their day.<\/p>\n
\nNothing quells tears and anxiety like a dose of laughter. Silly rituals help many families through separation woes. Rachael B. always sang, \u201cPants! Don\u2019t leave the house without them, you\u2019re going to need them for school \u2026 pants\u201d sung to the tune of \u2018Fame!\u2019 We don\u2019t remember how it started, but it stuck!\u201d\u00a0 Scott M. says, \u201cWhen we used to do outdoor drop-off at preschool, we always drove away doing the same honk rhythm while kids waved.\u201d Bus-stop dad Adam M. had a \u201csecret handshake\u201d with his kindergarten son they did right before he boarded that made everyone \u2014 including his kiddo \u2014 smile.<\/p>\n
\nMy kids\u2019 beloved preschool teacher has always been a master at creating urgent, appealing tasks for kids right when they arrive at school. Invitations like \u201cAh! I need your help checking for eggs in the chicken coop!\u201d or \u201cOh! We\u2019re just about to walk over to the sandbox and see the dinosaur nest kids are building\u201d don\u2019t leave time for a sad goodbye to erupt \u2014 there\u2019s fun to be had! Connect with the teacher and request this kind of help. Then blow a kiss and get out of there! Showing kids that you trust their teachers to help them goes a long way, and even if kids cry at your departure, it\u2019s almost always done by the time you\u2019re out of the parking lot.<\/p>\n
\nThe beauty of goodbye rituals is that they give kids something to count on in a situation they can\u2019t really control. Maybe each day it\u2019s \u201cTen pushes on the swings, and then I\u2019ll go.\u201d \u2014 and stick to it! Parent Meredith B. says, \u201cFor years, we waved until we couldn\u2019t see each other anymore.\u201d What sweeter way to start the day is there than that?<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"