{"id":98505,"date":"2023-07-20T07:00:58","date_gmt":"2023-07-20T11:00:58","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.readbrightly.com\/?p=98505"},"modified":"2023-06-28T11:53:26","modified_gmt":"2023-06-28T15:53:26","slug":"when-precocious-readers-want-mature-books","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.readbrightly.com\/when-precocious-readers-want-mature-books\/","title":{"rendered":"When Precocious Readers Want Mature Books: It\u2019s Your Call, Parents"},"content":{"rendered":"

One steadfast policy I\u2019ve had since my kids were old enough to ask is that I\u2019d buy them any book they wanted. Typically, this works in my favor (though I have spent more money on manga than I probably care to admit!). The love of reading <\/em>is my goal. The content? That\u2019s on them.<\/p>\n

But then my 15-year-old wanted to borrow my copy of Normal People<\/em><\/a>, which I loved in a complicated, messy, adult<\/em> kind of way. I paused. Did I want to explain consent? The power dynamics of sex and relationships? What abuse looks like? Or would I let her find her own way?<\/p>\n

As with most big decisions, I gave it a day. And then I told her, \u201cHey, there\u2019s some sexual stuff in there that might be a little intense. Just so you know.\u201d She rolled her eyes and snatched the book from my bedside table. I\u2019m pretty sure she read it in one sitting.<\/p>\n

Later, she\u2019d tell me that Normal People <\/em>was nothing compared to a Colleen Hoover book she had just read. Well, OK! <\/em><\/p>\n

I, for one, cannot judge. The book that turned me into a reader was Flowers in the Attic, <\/em>full, as it was, of incest and other terrible, awful, unbelievable, gothic-y things. I tore through it, probably sometime in middle school. And it\u2019s not like I was some lone weirdo. Flowers in the Attic <\/em>was a viral sensation before #booktok was a thing \u2014 the old-fashioned way, by kids whispering, Oh my god, have you read that?! <\/em>But my parents didn\u2019t interrogate the books I read \u2014 something I always appreciated.<\/p>\n

As it turns out, many tween and teen readers are turning to more mature books, like Colleen Hoover\u2019s It Ends with Us<\/em>. My not-easily-rattled (or impressed) 15-year-old didn\u2019t enjoy the sex scenes and descriptions of abuse, and she made her own choice: This is not for me. <\/em>She\u2019s also talked to me about the difference in drug use in the streaming and book versions of Daisy Jones and the Six<\/em><\/a>. I am not bothered by these conversations. In fact, I relish how we can chat about heavy topics in a tangential way \u2014 not some uber-intense family meeting-style discussion.<\/p>\n

RELATED: What To Do If Your Child Is Interested in Books With Adult Themes<\/a><\/p>\n

That\u2019s the thing; when kids love reading, you don\u2019t know where it will take them \u2014 or you. And maybe we have to be OK with that.<\/p>\n

Because no two families are alike, I polled dozens of other book-minded moms about how they draw the line. And while book-banning headlines are evidence that some parents think reading about topics like sex, drugs, abuse, violence, gender identity, and the like is inherently dangerous for kids, plenty of parents believe otherwise. Some mothers of voracious young readers said they like to preview \u201cadult\u201d books beforehand by checking Common Sense Media<\/a>. Another mom \u2014 an elementary school teacher \u2014 will hit pause until they and <\/em>their child are ready to discuss any edgy subject matter.<\/p>\n

“I\u2019m a big believer that nothing is really \u2018bad\u2019 if she\u2019s able to talk about it, contextualize it, and think critically about it,\u201d says Ashely Austrew, a writer and mother in Omaha, Nebraska, of her 11-year-old daughter. \u201cI\u2019m more interested in her developing the tools to think and talk about and understand what she reads than I am about restricting access.”<\/p>\n

Jamie Beth Cohen<\/a>, an author and mother of a 10- and 13-year-old from Lancaster, Pennsylvania, also relishes the opportunity to talk about books. \u201cMy kids can read anything and everything they get their hands on. They often ask my husband or me to read a book after they\u2019ve read it so we can talk about it. I love it when that happens.”<\/p>\n

For Meg St-Esprit<\/a>, a writer and mother of four from Pittsburgh, it\u2019s not so much edgy <\/em>content that she\u2019s watching out for with her 11-year-old, an advanced reader. \u201cHe\u2019s adopted, so I actually am more looking for those themes,\u201d she says, adding that orphan tropes are very hard for him. Mostly, though, she echoes what many parents say, \u201cI just want to know what he\u2019s reading.\u201d<\/p>\n

Kids, however, aren\u2019t always aware that parents are curious. Kim Jung, a therapist and mother of two in Los Angeles, says her 13-year-old daughter recently read It Ends with Us. <\/em>When Jung asked about the iffy content, her daughter didn\u2019t see any issue. \u201c[She] just laughed at me and said, \u2018Are you really paying attention to things like that?\u2019\u201d<\/p>\n

Whether you\u2019re the type of parent who is Googling every title on your child\u2019s bedside table, one who feels that any <\/em>book is a good book as long as they\u2019re reading, or somewhere in between, the key, it seems, isn\u2019t the book itself, but the ability to talk about the books we read, and to know other people \u2014 most especially our kids \u2014 as readers. And that\u2019s one of the great pleasures of a reading life, regardless of age.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

We spoke with several parents about how they draw the line when letting their tweens and teens read mature content with adult themes. <\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":10,"featured_media":98507,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[116,240],"coauthors":[43],"class_list":["post-98505","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-uncategorized","tag-parenting","tag-sex","ages_stages-tween","ages_stages-teen"],"yoast_head":"\nWhen Precocious Readers Want Mature Books: It\u2019s Your Call, Parents | Brightly<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"We spoke with several parents about how they draw the line when letting their tweens and teens read mature content with adult themes.\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/www.readbrightly.com\/when-precocious-readers-want-mature-books\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" 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